Olympic Thoughts with Lance

Gymnastics:

Does anybody else not give a rat's butt about this hissyfit over scoring in the men's gymnastics? Or is it just me? I don't trust these sports that rely on scoring, anyway. I just like watching it. I mean, what kind of mutant freak do you have to be to do some of those things?

The women (girls, rather) are impressive enough. How can those little bitty girls jump that high?

But the men - holy crap. Humans can't really do those rings routines, can they? And on the floor exercises: when they do that sorta-breakdancing thing, supporting themselves just on their hands. Give that a try. Just sit, legs straight out, and push yourself completely off the floor. I can do it, for a few seconds, with my legs bent, but I almost ruptured myself in two places trying.

About those Hamm brothers - did they have an accident with a helium balloon when they were young, or what?

Commentators:

Does anybody else wish they could turn the TV commentators off, and turn on the radio for Wayne Larrivee and Larry McCarren? Or better yet, Jim Irwin and Max McGee?

Beach Volleyball:

I haven't watched too much of the women's beach volleyball. It looks like a really exciting sport, but I feel like such a voyeur. Why do the women wear bikinis to play this? There's got to be some competitive advantage, right? World class athletes don't wear things just to wear them - they look for every little edge.

If so, the men should probably strip down some, too. I mean, come on, guys, take off the shirts. A little something for the ladies, here. And other sports should follow suit. Track and field athletes are wearing a lot less these days. And how about tennis? If beach volleyball players get an advantage from wearing bikinis, wouldn't tennis players get the same advantage?

Or maybe they're thinking more about their post-athletic modeling careers.

Track:

I watched the 1500 meters last night - that anorexic-looking guy from Morocco won. They're running this race in about 3:30 now. I see that this year is the 40th anniversary of somebody breaking the 4-minute mile. That means we should be breaking the 3-minute mile right around the year 2044.

In case you were wondering, it won't be me that does it.

Miscellaneous:

Bring back the college basketball players.

Synchronized diving should be banned, because there are far too many men wearing speedos and hugging each other.