Tee Bee over at Guide to Midwestern Culture has gotten me started on something. Her short post on technical aphorisms should be continued.
"An optimist sees the cup as half full.
A pessimist sees the cup as half empty.
An engineer sees that you have the wrong-sized cup.
Update: A mechanic is pretty sure somebody's been dipping into the milk, but is waiting for the spec sheet to be sure of the correct dimensions."
So... an eight ounce cup containing four ounces of liquid is as viewed and described by...
Conservatives- "One more step toward socialism and that cup'll be empty."
Liberals- "There is a resource for a new federal program."
Liberals- "There is a resource we can use to soak the rich."
Louis Farrakhan- "It was full, but we found evidence of explosives."
Kanye West- "It's a segregated cup. The white half is full and the black half is empty. That proves that Bush is a racist."
Watermelon Environmentalists- "Don't touch it or you'll destroy the planet."
W.E's again- "Don't touch it. It is the last remaining ecosystem of an endangered paramecium."
W.E's ad nauseum- "It's global warming! Oh, god, you're destroying the rain forest!!"
Cindy Sheehan- "Let's send it to help the Freedom Fighters opposing Bush's occupation of New Orleans."
Michael Moore- "I will make a film out of it because Bush lied."
Al Qaeda- "We will blow up the infidel water with the mother of all bombs."
Osama- "Water... water..."
Badger Blog Alliance- "I wish it were beer."
Packer fans- "I wish it were hemlock."
Brewer fans- "Just like my Brewers; .500."
Dan Rather- "Courage...fake, but accurate."
General Honore- "It is what it is, not what it was. Don't get stuck on stupid."
Chief Justice Roberts, Justice Thomas, Justice Scalia- "We rule that it is indeed four ounces of liquid."
Justice Kennedy- "There is a French law that leads me to rule it thirty-two ounces."
Grandpa John- " "
Tee Bee- "I don't care how much you suck up, Steve. You are still banned from commenting on my blog!"
And your take?