Thursday, December 01, 2005


Quite long ago, I gave up trying to goad Grandpa John into blogging or commenting here. I abused him in every possible way. It was strange to me that I couldn't get him to respond even to some of the most inane statements that I could muster. All the while we were growing up, I never have known him to refuse silly 'challenges' like this. I thoroughly doubt that he has matured past responding in kind to these little digs, however.

Lately, though, I have experienced another series of wonderments. Grandpa John's twin sons, Todd and Lance, who are also contributors to this blog also have not responded to my best ribbing. In this post I made fun of their high school alma mater. Here I abused them using their middle names. Here I questioned their IQ's using a British study on twins and claimed that they had not yet achieved adult communication skills. Not a single response to be found anywhere.

I began to question how this could be. Were Todd and Lance taking cues from President Bush in not defending themselves in a timely manner? This is hard to justify as I did not accuse them of lying causing people's dying, nor am I a twin, or have the same middle name, or attend the same high school.

Since that theory was ruled out, perhaps Todd and Lance are of French heritage; Brie heads. This theory has abit more legitimacy. Todd did withdraw from Wisconsin to Iowa, possibly in order to appease the Islamofascist element in Racine. Studies of their paperwork, however, show that they are of mixed Swiss and Scandinavian heritage. This possibility is still under investigation.

The 3rd potential reason for their lack of self defense may just simply be an overdose of dominant genes inherited from Grandpa John. If this is the case, it could be easily proven. A quick check of the contents of their refrigerators would probably show an abundance of Velveeta in the cheese drawer. This is the theory I'm buying.

I expect that even this post (so far) will not elicit a response, but perhaps the following will:

A recent issue of Pediatrics made an interesting claim.

"A team from the University of Bristol found that children with lower levels of a height controlling hormone also had lower IQs. The study is the first to make a link between the insulin-like growth hormone and intelligence. Professor David Gunnell and his colleagues measured levels of Insulin Growth Factor IGF-I in the blood of 547 children, who also took an intelligence test at the age of eight. When the researchers compared IGF-I levels in the youngsters in the study, they found a significant link between the growth hormone and intelligence."

It is not clear, however, that this research negates any of the research concerning the lower IQ's of twins.

(H. T. JR.)

(Paul or Scott, this study, as well as the twin study, really leaves you short! The academic requirements of UW-Madison and Marquette University must have really been lowered!)


tee bee said...

"I began to question how this could be. Were Todd and Lance taking cues from President Bush in not defending themselves in a timely manner?"

Ouch! A little hard on Bush there, aren't you?

Steve said...

Yeah, t.b., I realize that this comparison amounted to my own version of Bushitler. My apologies, Mr. President.

But... it may be worth a post of its own... that now even girls are dissin' Todd and Lance!