Teaching Abstinence Just Doesn't Work

There is much at issue in our public schools, with much debate as to what should be the fundamental teachings for our children. As these youngsters grow they will naturally become curious and want to explore the newly developed aspects and the urges of their impressionable psyches. Teaching abstinence alone will not overcome these powerful urges brought on by their raging hormones. They are going to do it anyway. They need to be armed with the whys and hows to learn safe use to get through these difficult times with a minimum of inconvenience, injury, or disease. Loading them with information, knowledge, and understanding is the key aim to help our children reach full maturity safely. Otherwise we will be forcing them to look defenselessly down the barrel of a loaded gun.

The spread of HIV, which leads to AIDS, and a plethora of other STD's are serious threats to our children and cannot be glossed over without catastrophic results. Let me say that again! The spread of Handgun Initiated Violence, which leads to Acquired Injury to Defenseless Students, and a plethora of other Shooting Target Damages are serious threats to our children.

I am proposing that schools dispense handguns and ammunition free of charge to students along with proper training on how and when to use them. In the classroom students could practice with a banana and see demonstrations of the various postions and techniques used. The guns will be small enough to carry in a purse or backpack, but we have not yet found one that could fit easily inside most wallets.

For political correctness, students should be taught multicaliberism through the use of classroom texts such as "Little Danny Has Two Handguns" and "Mr. Smith & Mr. Wesson: A Queer Eye Can Still Aim Straight at the Guy".

Teaching abstinence just doesn't work with kids. They are going to do it anyway. Schools must arm them to succeed in life and help protect them along the way.