Words so true they might have been aimed right at me:

Sometimes Murphy wields his Law like the Robert De Niro version of Al Capone - with a baseball bat, whacking you over the head with it, again and again, until your data is spreading in a crimson stain across the starched white tablecloth of your life. The second half of that first sentence proves that it's equally true that a good metaphor can be stretched only so far, until it screams and breaks on the rack like a...

Oh, never mind.