Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Man Law

Atlanta- Scientists from the Centers for Disease Control suggested that men should curb their beer consumption. The results of a recent analysis revealed the increased systemic production of estrogen derivatives during the consumption of beer. The concern was that consuming large amounts of beer would alter masculine characteristics.

To test the theory, 100 men were given 6 pints of beer each. Clinical measurements provided data showing that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, were compelled to spend money, argued over nothing, and refused to apologize when wrong.

(Adapted from a CDC report stolen from Aaron Hernandez.)

(Any complaints, offenses, or lawsuits should be directed to Mr. Hernandez. I am just an innocent messenger, reporting news from the outside world without couching my editorial opinions within the text.)

1 comment:

Aaron Hernandez said...

Good thing my lawyers are still on retainer... Haha.