P's & Q's, and Other Abbreviations

Back in the '50's, before I started school I can remember sitting in the family room with my mom one afternoon watching the soap opera, 'The Edge of Night'. At the performance of one particular actress in an evil role, I commented, "Wow, she must really be a whore...!"

I must've said something wrong, 'cause there was yellin', swingin', spittin', and all varieties of chasin' a'goin' on. As a very young'un I was pretty nimble, but certainly no match for the fury confronting me. Even after being caught in our sweet mother's 'Grip of Certain Death', I still didn't understand why using 'hor' as an abbreviation for horrible was so bad. Even so, I feebly tried to blame my older brothers.

That seemed to help as Mom relaxed enough to recategorize her hold on me as a 'Grip of Very Likely Death'. Soon it diminished into the 'Grip of a Very Luck Little Turd' accompanied only by the 'Death Stare'.

Yes, my finger pointing and blame shifting must have struck a chord. After all, 9 year old Jerry had just been busted and nearly sent to prison for calling Marilyn Connell a 'nincompoop'.

Little did we know at the time that Jerry, always the troublemaker, was also a self-fulfilling prophet. About a decade or so afterward he joined the Navy and soon became a Petty Officer; a 'Non-Com-Poop' Deck Swabby.

At any rate, I surely learned to watch my P's & Q's as well as other abbreviations.