Who's Yer Guv'na, Mate?

In the race for Wisconsin's top office, I am mired in a quandary. I have been unable to decide whether to vote for Jim Doyle or Mark Green.

Words mean things. Therefore, I will not be able to make my choice until I see the specific wording on the ballot.

If the ballot asks one's choice for governor of the State of Wisconsin, I will select Mark Green. He shows tendencies that I favor for our state's highest elected official.

If the ballot asks one's choice in the State of Wisconsin's gubernatorial race, I will select Jim Doyle. He has proven tendencies that I favor for our state's top Goober. I believe that he shared valedictorian honors with John Kerry upon graduation from Jimmy Carter's Goober Academy.

The local newspaper usually exhibits copies of each precinct's ballot a few days before the election so I will be able to know who I will vote for before actually entering the voting booth. That sure takes a lot of pressure off.

(Most of my friends, relatives, readers, and acquaintances think that I am shallow thinker of the most superficial sort, but they just don't realize how deeply I think about important issues such as these.)