Celebrating Behind the Woodshed

The Democrats, flush with the success of their great 'whuppin' of the Republicans, have announced the opening day agenda for their 2008 National Convention. The convention will either be held in Denver or New York.

THE 2008 NATIONAL DEMOCRATIC CONVENTION OPENING DAY

6:00 p.m. - Opening flag burning ceremony.
6:05 p.m. - Opening secular prayers by Rev. Jesse Jackson and Rev. Al Sharpton
6:30 p.m. - Anti-war concert by Barbra Streisand.
6:40 p.m. - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
7:00 p.m. - Tribute theme to France .
7:10 p.m. - Collect offerings for al-Zawahri defense fund.
7:25 p.m. - Tribute theme to Germany .
7:45 p.m. - Anti-war rally (Moderated by Michael Moore)
8:25 p.m. - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
8:30 p.m. - Terrorist appeasement workshop.
9:00 p.m. - Gay marriage ceremony (both male and female couples)
9:30.p.m. - * Intermission *
10:00.p.m. - Posting the Iraqi Colors by Sean Penn and Tim Robbins
10:10 p.m. - Re-enactment of Kerry's fake medal toss.
10:20.p.m. - Cameo by Dean 'Yeeearrrrrrrg!'
10:30 p.m . - Abortion demonstration by N.A.R.A.L.
10:40 p.m. - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
10:50 p.m. - Pledge of allegiance to the UN.
11:00 p.m. - Multiple gay marriage ceremony (threesomes, mixed and same sex). Rep. Barney Frank (D,Mass.), Sponsor
11:15 p.m. - Maximizing Welfare workshop.
11:30 p.m. - 'Free Saddam' pep rally.
11:59 p.m. - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
12:00 p.m. - Coronation of democratic candidate.

(H.T. Wicked Thoughts.)