Thursday, December 28, 2006

Viva La Raza Echerichia!

As if we didn't have enough to worry about already: Global warming, bird flu, credit card bills, the Packers playoff chances, global cooling, Democrats, and trans-fats/Rosie O'Donnell. Now something even more serious has raised its ugly head. The government has to do something to save this nation. We must erect booths along our entire border with Mexico and make all those entering the country wash their hands with anti-bacterial soap and/or Purex sanitizing lotion.

Written in a piece by the propaganda department of The People's Cube:

"Activists of several Latino advocacy groups hailed the recent E. coli outbreaks at Taco Bell restaurants as "the biggest success yet in reclaiming Aztlán culture on the territories occupied by the American invaders."" [...]

"Pedo Flojo of the East Brunswick Migrant Workers Center spoke for many of his compañeros as he wolfed down his third chicken chimichanga. "¡Buenísimo! It's just like back home in Durango. Now that Taco Bell added E. coli to the lettuce, I get a nice Montezuma-sized chorro blast. A pantload of hot re-fried beans after every meal."

""Once we are free of the debilitating hegemony of the materialistic American culture, we will fulfill our romantic goal of farming the land with wooden sticks under the benevolent rule of a true Aztec king, entertaining ourselves spiritually with human sacrifice, and eating as much E. coli as we can lay our hands on,"said [Erika] Ramirez,"

Dear Government,
Please save us before we all die-arrhea.

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