I'll Vote for the Democrat Presidential Nominee in 2008

David Levinsky reports in the Burlington County Times:

The scenario has played out in real life across America: Gunfire echoes through a school and students are held hostage.

But police, faculty and staff lived out their own make-believe version yesterday of just such a tragedy at Burlington Township High School, complete with Kevlar-clad officers, armed suspects and students portraying the wounded and dead.

The purpose of the drill was to test the reactions of police, faculty and administration. [...]

The mock terror attack involved two irate men armed with handguns who invaded the high school through the front door. They pretended to shoot several students in the hallway and then barricaded themselves in the media center with 10 student hostages.

Two Burlington Township police detectives portrayed the gunmen. Investigators described them as members of a right-wing fundamentalist group called the “New Crusaders” who don't believe in separation of church and state. The mock gunmen went to the school seeking justice because the daughter of one had been expelled for praying before class. [...]

This drill proved to be a great learning experience. We New Crusaders learned so much about police tactics and liberal hostage negotiation. Our PR people will label the standoff a quagmire; a civil war, and demand police withdrawal and funding cuts. They will claim that 350,000 civilians have been killed already. With a continued Democrat led Congress and a new Democrat in the White House we will be able to 'dialogue' the country into a fundamentalist theocracy. (as long as Janet Reno isn't appointed AG- Oh, the humanity!)

Rosie O'Donnell, Charlie Sheen, and Sean Penn will flee to Canada or France. Taxes will be a 10% flat tithe, although free will offerings will be accepted. Homosexuals will not be allowed to legally marry or march in the St. Patrick's Day parade. Score will be kept in youth games. Wishing someone 'Merry Christmas' will be legal. The Supreme Court will be required to read and study the Constitution. Property owners will have rights. The federal government will go on a diet, cutting out pork. Other such Draconian tyranny is planned.

Democrats in '08!