Monday, April 02, 2007

Wisdom From a Bird-Brain

One of the more colorful researchers in my secret basement laboratory is affectionately nicknamed 'Madam Doolittle'. She claims both to be able to talk to animals and read them psychically.

The other day she brought in an article from the UK Timesonline concerning a recorded non-stop flight of a female bar-tailed godwit from New Zealand. This bird was monitored flying 6,341 miles non-stop to North Korea on the first leg of a trip to her breeding grounds in Alaska.

While holding the picture contained in the article, Madam Doolittle was able to divine several non printed facts:

-This bird fled for her life from the long tongues of the hungry imported cane toads (as seen in Lance's previous post).

-She stops in North Korea to replenish her glycogen stores because, despite accusations otherwise, there is plenty of food in the mud flats of North Korea.

-She doesn't think that Nancy Pelosi really needs a bigger plane.

-Female godwits will go to great lengths to exchange cloacal fluids.

-She knows that it is OK to live anywhere one wants, but to raise a family, the U.S.A. is the only place to be.

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