It's the Rutgers Women Who Must Apologize

The debacle that ensued over the Don Imus comments about the Rutgers Women's Basketball team that features the wit and wisdom of Al Sharpton has missed the point entirely. The truly offended parties have not been considered whatsoever.

All commenters consider that the Rutgers women were the innocent subjects of the abusive language of Imus. In reality, however, the Rutgers women proved to be the worst abusers, many displaying incredible hypocrisy.

In feigning offense at being labeled 'hos', the Rutgers women proved to be bigoted haters. This is, after all, 21st Century Post-Christian America. Prudish, Puritan moralisms belong only to the likes of Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson, and James Dobson. America is now enlightened almost as much as our European brothers.

In our new age, whores; promiscuous and immoral women, are pillars of our country. They are pioneers, exploring the universe of hard won freedoms from male oppression. Their lifestyles are now featured on nearly all television programming, popular music, and all movie screens. They are successfully used to advertise all varieties of products. They are the heroines of millions of young girls who try to emulate them in every way. They have consorted with Presidents such as JFK and Bill Clinton. Why would the Rutgers women want to distance themselves and discriminate against such an important segment of our society and again bind themselves in male dominated shackles?

The following conversation was overheard between two co-eds on campus:

"Whaddaya doin' after practice?"

"I gotta get back to the dorm to watch 'Desperate Housewives'."

"I luv that show. And I gots a tape of Dennis Rodman that teaches trash talkin' on the basketball court. Syracuse has a player who is part Indian. She's related to the Ho-Chunk tribe in Wisconsin."

"No, you di'unt!"

"After that we can go to the club. I hear that rapper Sting Key Dogg P is performing his new album tonight!"

"Yo, yo... he's super fly, dog, so talented that he's introducing a new genre of rap."

"Word up! He's mixing rap and country/western. What a genius. I axe ya, what's the album called?"

"I think it's titled "Slap Yo Knee Grow Hoedown."

"That's it! And maybe we can find some dudes and hook up."

"Yo, bee-utch, let's get widdit!"

The Rutgers women owe America's 'hos' an apology. C'mon, now, say it. We're sorry, Paris. We're sorry, Britney. We're sorry, Lindsay. We're sorry Mr. Cli'un. We're sorry we dissed y'all.