Warning, Warning! Danger, Will Robinson!

Today, class, as an introduction to American literary high culture, I quote to you from the literary cultural genius written on a can of mixed nuts:

Ingredients: Peanuts (blanched and unblanched), cashews, almonds, Brazil nuts, pecans, macadamia nuts, vegetable oil (peanut, cottonseed, soybean and/or sunflower seed), salt.

ALLERGY WARNING: CONTAINS ALMONDS, BRAZIL NUTS, CASHEWS, MACADAMIA NUTS, PECANS, PEANUTS. MANUFACTURED IN A FACILITY THAT PROCESSES MILK, EGGS, FILBERTS, PINE NUTS, PISTACHIOS, WALNUTS, WHEAT, SOYBEANS. (Emphasis in original)

If you aren't touched by the eloquent depth and beauty of this intellectual artform, you aren't a true soul-less American bureaucrat.