Monday, September 03, 2007

The Tragic Fruit of Global Warming

There are several paleontologists working in our secret basement laboratory. Other researchers are constantly ribbing them about lacking cranial vaults; having cranial quarries instead. They agree, claiming that they indeed sport diamond mines. Nonetheless, these pickaxes have been working diligently. In addition to the recent research indicating that Homo neanderthalensis existed at the same time as Homo sapiens and that Homo erectus and Homo habilis also existed together, their own discoveries from their dig site near Flint, Michigan, have given rise to some solid theoretical speculation.

Before unveiling their conclusions, our spunky paleocolonoscopists did their famous 'funky monkey dance' through the lab. (Schwartz loves to hang from the light fixtures by his mechanical prehensile tail.)

For the rest of us non-rocks-for-neurons professionals, they offered the layman's version of their technical research:

Chemistry + Time + Chance + Recent Man-made Global Warming=

Enter the newly discovered Global Warming induced ovum deformation from 1934...

"I am entering the Republican Presidential Primary for the election of 2008. The Republicans are of the higher intelligence levels among the newly devolved, albeit inferior, Human Race. The Democrats have fallen to somewhere between warthogs and chipmunks."
Vote Mandrillus Sphinx
President, 2008
You've had Chimpybush as President for 8 years-
Now vote for the real thing!

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