Friday, March 07, 2008

Hurray For Hollywood!

(Ed. note: Since Grandpa John's is a blog dedicated to fairness we have decided that we must right a great inequity in American culture. The Democrat Presidential primary has become a contest between two individuals that are members of two separate groups that have long been victims of the evil White male American culture; namely women and minorities. That being said, we here at Grandpa John's also recognize that February was Black History Month giving Senator Barack Obama an unfair boost throughout the month's primaries. To level the playing field we have decided to designate March as Women's History Month.)

Hedwig Eva Maria Kiesler

"Any girl can be glamorous. All she has to do is stand still and look stupid."

Like many great people Hedwig probably also realized that, by her speech, any girl could prove it.

In 1940 Ms. Kiesler was already a starlet living in Hollywood. Her neighbor, George Antheil, was a composer and writer, with a hobby of studying endocrinology. One day Hedwig decided to visit George and inquire of his glandular knowledge to help increase her breast size. One thing lead to another and anyone can easily imagine what happened next. Their conversational intercourse naturally slipped into the topic of torpedoes and other weapons of war.

After all this extensive foreplay Hedwig and George developed plans for 'frequency hopping' radio control of Allied torpedoes to aid in the defeat of American enemies. Unfortunately, the idea was at least 20 years before its time and was not actually able to be developed until about 1957. In 1962 these controls were used on American vessels during the Cuban Crisis.

On behalf of Grandpa John's I would like to thank you, Hedwig Eva Maria Kiesler, for your stand against evil regimes. I dare hope to think that your influence recently inspired a flash of rational thought by Angelina Jolie after her visit to Iraq. I could think of dozens of present day Hollywood airheads that could also benefit from your example.

AKA, Hedy Lamarr

Ms. Lamarr, during this Women's History Month we at Grandpa John's salute your great contributions to the well being of The United States. We mourn your passing in 2000.

Addendum: Doodle comparison

Movie star Hedy Lamarr doodle, 1942:

Modern movie star doodle, 2008:

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