Lipstick on an Old Fish
Pig Wrapped Up in Paper

After a seemingly decade long primary season, this Presidential campaign is a breath of fresh air. Saturday Night Live and South Park have nothing on these guys when it comes to comic relief. Often, it is not what is said or the opposing reaction to it that is funny. The humor goes on behind the scenes.

Recently, while campaigning in Lebanon, VA, Senator Barack Obama said, "You know, you can put lipstick on a pig," Obama said, "but it's still a pig."

He added, "You can wrap an old fish in a piece of paper called 'change.' It's still gonna stink after eight years."

The McCain camp quickly accused Obama of calling Sarah Palin 'a pig.' Whether he did or didn't, it really is a non-issue.

What is funny, however, is the history behind the Obama statement. Since I, like Barack and Michelle Obama, am an Eastern educated elite- G.E.D. while in a Florida jail and an Associate of Arts in lock-picking... er... lock-SMITHING while in jail in Georgia- I have accesss to much of the inner workings of the Obama campaign.

Early on Obama was looking for special terms to identify positions in his entourage. His first choices were Apostles or Disciples, but lightning struck nearby and knocked the power out. After his Presidential seal was laughed out of commission, he settled on Cabinet Ministers to ease the sting.

An acquaintance of mine is Obama's Secretary of Jokes and Snappy One-Liners. He was the one who originated what came to be the 'lipstick on a pig' dig. However, the original was perverted, either because Obama couldn't read the teleprompter or decided to strike out on his own. The statement really stated, 'lipstick on a sow- a mama grizzly with cubs.' This was meant to salute Palin's ferocity while still criticizing her stance on the issues. Obama screwed it up.

Nonetheless, my friend is now Prime Minister to Toilet Bowls and Barack's Bidets. The only lower position in Obama's Cabinet is Secretary of Arugula Hygiene. He wasn't actually thrown under the bus so he still has a chance at a plum job if Obama becomes POTUS.