So Easy, Even a TrogloPundit Could Do It*

Don Surber spoofs a Garrison Keillor column in the Chicago Tribune's News Columns. The Keillor statement getting all the press is

Thirty-two percent of the population identifies with the GOP, and if we cut off health care to them, we could probably pay off the deficit in short order.

Don't get sick, Republicans, but if you do get sick, die quickly, you knuckle-dragging Neanderthals.

That certainly is getting all the discussion, but Keillor says so many goofy things in this article, that much is overlooked.

...except elect dullards to office who brought a certain nihilistic approach to governance that helped bring about the disaster in the banking industry that ate up a lot of 401(k)s, and all thanks to high-flyers in shirts like cheap wallpaper who never learned enough to let it discourage them from believing that they had magical powers over the laws of economics and could hand out mortgages to people with no assets and somehow the sun would come out tomorrow. The anti-regulation conservatives enabled those people. We're still waiting for an apology.

I would like to see his line of reasoning to make this statement. The Community Reinvestment Act was Jimmy Carter's and its supercharging was during Bill Clinton's terms. I never knew how anti-regulation Conservative they were. Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac were government sponsored enterprises.

And now here comes the U.S. Supreme Court, about to rule in the case of a little plywood cross erected, as it turns out, on federal land in the Mojave Desert as a memorial to the war dead -- could there be anything less pressing right now? But we shall have great legal minds wrangling over something that doesn't make a dime's worth of difference to anybody whomsoever.

It must make a difference to somebody or it wouldn't be there. Besides, does the Supreme Court have anything better to do? Is it supposed to order by fiat the things that Keillor thinks are important?

Thirty-six years of bitterness over Roe vs. Wade and what has it gotten us?

Tens of millions of dead babies.

Conservatives and liberals can agree on the basics -- that the nation wallows in debt, that it is shortsighted of the states to cut back on the most essential work of government which is the education of the young, and that somehow we have got to become a more productive nation and less consumptive...

The nation wallows in debt... Pass ObamaCare now and deny Conservatives health care and all is solved?

The most essential work of government is the education of the young... It is? And if it is they have been in charge of it for generations with what result? But we should double down again anyway?

Somehow we have got to become a more productive nation and less consumptive. More productive by nationalizing the auto and banking industries? Less consumptive by passing cap & trade or not utilizing our natural resources?

Old men shouldn't be allowed to doze off at the switch and muck up the works for the young who will have to repair the damage. Get over yourselves. Your replacements have arrived,...

Get over yourself, Keillor. Move over, there are many O'Keefes and Giles that have arrived.

(*Nobody actually said that, but we all know that is what they really are saying.)