The scientists in our secret basement laboratory have grown quit disturbed at the ineptitude by which the climate data is being collected, manipulated, and forced into an anti-capitalist political agenda. For some time now they have been taking measurements of their own.
Here is a satellite photo of a portion of the data collection:
Early results have shown slight global cooling, but no scientific conclusion can yet be drawn.
Although the global temps have not yet shown to be on the rise, it does appear that the Earth's magma pressure has risen a bit.
(Several Australian readers have contacted me with complaints that the above satellite photo suggests that Australia is the insertion point for the Earth's rectal thermometer. I assured my Aussie friends that this certainly may or may not be the case. I also told them that England was the preferred site, but it proved too uptight, contra-indicating standard insertion. Apparently the upper lip is not the only part of British anatomy that is stiff. Besides, after a couple of beers the Aussies had forgotten what the dispute was about anyway.)