Idaho Declares War on the United States

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Idaho's grievance:

Potato growers are fighting back against efforts to ban or limit potatoes in federal child nutrition programs, arguing the tuber is loaded with potassium and vitamin C and shouldn’t be considered junk food.

Idahoans have been using RPP's (rocket propelled potatoes) to attack other states. They have been accused of firing potatoes over the Dakotas into eastern Minnesota. Because of the high heat produced by their travels, the potatoes were turned into french fries and landed in a junior high cafeteria. Washington is outraged.

Member of Idaho's 7th Artillery Division:

"Besides," one militiaman stated, "We're tired of the fact that only 49 states enter the Miss America pageant 'cause no one wants to be called 'Miss Idaho.'"