I went to the store last night to pick up a few things while hoping that a picture of me wouldn't end up on 'The People of Walmart.' I sauntered through the personal hygiene aisle to pick out a deodorant. Stick? Spray? Roll-on? Did I want to smell like a tropical rain forest, petunias, an ocean breeze, or a well used jock strap? Did I want to attract women, men, or transgenders? So many choices. My nimble mind flashed to Bernie Sanders and the connection between deodorants and starving children. I began to laugh... but, then, I saw them. Two young children were staggering down the aisle. They were obviously starving, with slack-jawed, zombie-like appearance as their glassy eyes stared at their smart phones.
I screamed at them to get offa my lawn, bought a twin pack of Old Spice High Endurance (jock scent) and finished my shopping.