Wicked Thoughts to ponder.

-I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

-The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

-Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

-In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

-How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

-If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

-Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

-If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

-If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

-Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?