The Gospel of Moonbatthew 6:6-66
"Cindy answered and said, "It is reported: Asshats do not live by ratatouille alone, but on every word that proceeds from the mouth of the MSM.""
"Then Justice Stevens took her to Washington, D.C., the holy city, and had her to stand on the highest point of the Supreme Court Building. "If you are the daughter of Gaia", he said, "Cast yourself down. For it is written: "She will command her sprites concerning you, and they will break your fall lest you bump your head and learn some sense.""
"Cindy answered him and said, "Our great Mother has also written, "Don't run with scissors or jump off buildings... you could poke your eye out.""
"Again, Marx took her to a very high mountain and showed her all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor. "All this I will give you," he said, "if you will bow down and worship me."
"Cindy answered him and said, "Away from me, Dead White Northern European Male! For I have written: "Worship me and serve myself only.""
Then the tempter left Cindy alone, and New York Times reporters came and attended to her."