Monday, July 03, 2006

Peg-Legging Toward the White House

About every generation or so, a super crime-fighter frags organized crime, makes a name for himself, and eventually heads toward inhabiting the White House.

In the 1960's, Attorney General Robert Kennedy reeked havoc on the Mafia. Of course, his trek to the White House was ruthlessly cut short on the campaign trail.

In the 1980's, Rudy Giuliani investigated, prosecuted, and convicted over 4,000 drug dealers, organized crime figures, corrupt government officials, and white collar criminals. Today many feel that he is material suited for the White House.

This generation has produced another crime-fighter of this infamous genre. I am referring to Wisconsin AG Peg Lautenschlager. Not long ago she bogged down the violent Wisconsin Cranberry Producers Cartel. Not content to rest on her laurels, she is now taking another evil cabal to the cleaners: the terroristic al-Rubber Ducky Racers. These illegal activities are used to launder money for criminal organizations such as Underprivileged Children's After School Programs.

These are dangerous people that our heroic AG is taking on. If she successfully survives her mission, Peg Lautenschlager should move straight to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.


Josh Schröder said...

To be fair, this is an executive problem under the Division of Gaming. Doyle needs to tell these DoG people to lay off the ducks.

Steve said...

Of course, you are right, but it would not have been as good a spoof. I could not just stop at the cranberry cartel.

Billiam said...

First the cranberries, now the ducks, tomorrow, cheddarheads! Then? Anarchy!!