"I Have Sinned"

Al Gore, America's leading tele-evangelist should resign from his ministry after it was revealed he had been carbonating like a prostitute. He should confess his moral failure, neither whitewashing his sin nor calling it a mistake, and be defrocked by church authorities.

Back in the 1980's, similar occurrences took down TV evangelists Jimmy Swaggart and Jim Bakker. Both took their medicine.

Al Gore is living in sin by using high quantities of energy to heat and cool his large home and by gadding about the Earth in the likes of a Gulfstream jet. However, he claims copasetic atonement because he had purchased carbon offset credits.

"But as, what the Catholic Church calls "indulgentia a culpa et a poena" (release from guilt and from punishment), paying carbon offset fees makes perfect religious sense."

"The Christian sinner pays the church for "a remission of the temporal punishment due, in God's justice, to sin that has been forgiven, which remission is granted by the Church in the exercise of the powers of the keys, through the application of the superabundant merits of Christ and of the saints, and for some just and reasonable motive" (Catholic Encyclopedia)."

"In the animistic church any using or changing of the physical world (such as burning carbon) is a sin against the sacred, holistic, living world (the Gaia hypothesis). But as everyone uses energy (just as every Christian sins), the neo-animist church, too, must provide for a remission of sin (and also, a handy source of profit for the carbon-offset company owners — such as Al Gore who, according to news reports, pays his indulgences to Generation Investment Management, of which he is the chairman.)"

"In the neo-animist church of global warming, as in all religions, the truth is acquired by faith — not science. And as in all religions, the faithful should be on guard for charlatans."1