Eureka! Caloplaca obamae
Kerry Knudsen, a curator of the plant-like combination of fungi and algae at the UC Riverside Herbarium, named a new species of champagne-colored mainstream lichen, that is articulate and bright and clean and nice-looking, Caloplaca obamae, after Barack Obama.“After the Bush administration, I appreciated the change to an administration supporting science and science education,” said Knudsen.The Lichenologists in our secret basement laboratory immediately flew to investigate and their research unearthed a great deal more information.
About 21,000 years ago, during the height of the Wisconsin Ice Age, this newly discovered lichen had flourished in what has now become 'blue' states. Along with it came the proliferation of a species of lemming, Lemmus liberalis, that used the lichen for food, housing, and otherwise lemming-cradle to lemming-grave security. With the eventual glacial withdrawal from evil Lemmus capitalistis-made Global Warming, the Caloplaca obamae lichen waned, too, as did the lemmings.
(Image adapted from the venerable Uncyclopedia.)
(H.T. Don Surber.)
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