Friday, September 30, 2011

...But Doesn't Cling to Her Guns and Religion

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This is just too funny not to repost:

President Foments International Incident

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A short time ago this photo of President Obama's wave covering the face of a Mongolian dignitary caused a lot of discussion in these parts.



However, in the nation of Mongolia, the reactions were far more serious.

(Photo credit: Khuvisgalt Khereid)

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Rebuking the Modern American Gospel

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What North Carolina Governor Bev Perdue Really Meant

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A lot of fisking and tsk-tsking going on over the internets about North Carolina Governor Bev Perdue's statements to a Rotary Club meeting the other day.
"I think we ought to suspend, perhaps, elections for Congress for two years and just tell them we won't hold it against them, whatever decisions they make, to just let them help this country recover. I really hope that someone can agree with me on that," Perdue said. "You want people who don't worry about the next election."
All this indignation is quite misplaced, however. Governor Perdue was just telling a joke. Here's what she really is angling toward:
"I think President Obama ought to disband, perhaps, Congress for two years and confer with his own Administration's advisers, cabinet, czars, Warren Buffett, and other crony capitalist millionaires/billionaires. We will just tell them we won't hold it against them, whatever decisions they make, to just let them help this country recover. I really hope that someone can agree with me on that," Perdue said. "You want people who don't worry about the next election."
Now, isn't that more reasonable?

Stop Funding Reproductive Rights

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Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Mission Accomplished

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Either the World's Youngest Blogger has been deployed to Afghanistan or Smitty is home!


Welcome home, Smitty, and thank you!

Controversial Wisconsin Billboard

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Despite all of the criticism, I like it.


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Monday, September 26, 2011

Hallsnark - When You Care Enough to Give Your Very, Very Best

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If It Ain't Hallsnark... It's CRAP!

Like our rivals, we are introducing a line of greeting cards to comfort those who have lost their jobs to Obamanomics.


Sunday, September 25, 2011

Another Great Wisconsin Sports Weekend

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Danica Patrick a Bears Fan

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I just saw a quick shot during the Packer/Bear game of Danica Patrick wearing a Bear hat. I found no picture to add, but I did take a screen shot of The Chicago Bears Situational Updates":


I also just tried to call The TrogloPundit to deliver him the news, but there was no answer. I hope he didn't have to make a dash to the emergency room for apoplexy. Rooting for the Steelers in the Super Bowl was bad enough, but being a Bears fan is truly the final straw.


Isabella asks, "So, you're a Bear fan, eh?":

Saturday, September 24, 2011

The Type of Science that Started the Global Warming Hoax

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Modern-Modern Science

Article title: Female promiscuity may be nature's way of dealing with inbreeding, research claims

First picture in article:

Some key conclusions:
Prof Matthew Gage said: “By generating inbred populations, we were able to create real risks of high genetic incompatibility between reproducing males and females, and expose the mechanisms that females possess to promote fertilization by the most compatible males and their sperm.

'These exciting results show how this common but paradoxical mating pattern can evolve if females use it to avoid reproducing with genetically incompatible males.

'Exactly how females filter the most compatible sperm is not yet understood. They might simply mate more frequently, and allow the ‘best sperm to win’, which would work if winning sperm are from males who have themselves avoided inbreeding depression.

'Or they might choose to mate most with the less related males, perhaps using olfactory cues, thereby concentrating their sperm stores from those males.
Test subjects from which conclusions were drawn:


Who performed this research?

Academics from the University of East Anglia...

Uhhh, could we check your emails, please?

And likely as not, the research was legitimate while the method of reporting in the science section sucked.

(H.T. Insty.)



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Thursday, September 22, 2011

The New Made for TV Series: Obama, The Pied Piper of the Henhouse

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Episode 1: The Night the Chickens Came Home



(The series is expected to be cancelled after one season.)

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Preview of Rangel Tribute Portrait

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Portrait to be Unveiled Today in House Ceremony
On Thursday, House leaders will pay tribute to Rep. Charles Rangel (D-N.Y.), less than a year after the House formally censured the former chairman of the Ways and Means Committee.

Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio) will speak at a ceremony to unveil Rangel’s official portrait as chairman of the storied committee, which the longtime New York Democrat led from 2007 until March 2010, when party leaders pressured him to give up the post amid a growing ethics scandal.

I've been told that my $64,000 check is in the mail.

(H.T. Jim Hoft.)

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The Obama Wave

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There has been a lot of commentary concerning President Obama's Wave picture from the U.N. In it his waving hand covers the face of another dignitary.


Make of it what you will.

Lance asks a a series of interesting questions.
So they publicly release a picture with the President waving his hand in front of that other guy’s face?

Why? Are you telling me they only took one picture? In this day and age? They didn’t have any other versions that don’t make the president look insensitive, clueless, and rude?

On MSNBC?
Well, as usual, I have the answer.

Here's the second best photo taken:


"Ok, who farted?"
"Don't look at me. That sulfur smell is Bush's fault."

Husker Du?
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Tuesday, September 20, 2011

More Waiver Favors for Rich Liberals?

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Just as HHS gave waivers to thousands from the requirements of ObamaCare, Senator Chuck Schumer seems to be calling for waivers to friends for ObamaTaxtheRich.
“$250,000 makes you really rich in Mississippi but it doesn’t make you rich at all in New York and there ought to be some kind of scale based on the cost of living on how much you pay,” Schumer said.

(H.T. Ed Driscoll.)

A Study in TrogloPology, Evolution, Etymology, and Lots of Spin

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As the younger generation grows up and experiences new things, they often are confronted by uncomfortable and confusing truths from which the older has been trying to shield them. Now is one of such times.

The young TrogloPundit has just discovered one of those inconvenient truths of which I hid from him for many years- a troglodyte is one of a family of cute little songbirds. The macho caveman has been reduced to a fluffy bug-eating ball of feathers. How could he possibly regain any self-esteem before becoming Purina Cat Chow?

Interestingly enough, the modern word 'spin,' that means to paint a rosy picture in the midst of sewage, is derived from early human troglodytic language. Spin comes from the Troglodytic word '#@!&*#.' One day Trog was sitting around a small pile of sticks, dry leaves, and grass. Mrs. Trog began nagging him for the umpteenth time about the saber-toothed tiger that was terrorizing the troglohood. Trog picked up a small stick, began spinning it between his palms, and quietly uttered #@!&#. The stick's friction started the dry tinder on fire, Mrs. Trog stopped her nagging, and, thus, the modern meaning of 'spin' began.

And the spin continues. After a long, involved study of the evolution of modern troglodytes, the TrogloPologists in our secret basement laboratory have discovered many interesting facts concerning our present day cute little warbler.

A member of the modern Troglodyte family:

A member of the Troglodyte family 352,639,012 years ago:

A member of the family 683,093,109 years ago attacking his favorite food, the Tyrantosaurus PseudoRex:
Now that's a pretty macho grandpappy and will return some pride to the Trog's backbone!

Human TrogloPundit evolution had a similar, but much more rapid advance.

The TrogloPundit family circa last Tuesday:

The TrogloPundit family after a trip to the local Super Walmart:

It's settled science.

Often times rigorous scientific research accidentally discovers other truths, as the preceding study clearly does. It shows the clear evolutionary blogging kinship between The TrogloPundit and Mr. Pterodactyl.

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Is Obama Clinically Depressed?

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Or Just Suffering from Low Testosterone? (Low T)

Today Rush Limbaugh was having some fun with an item on Gawker.com. (no link)

It seems that Gawker heard that the New York Times was preparing a story about President Obama suffering from clinical depression that they had heard from somebody else who had talked to someone else whose cousin knew somebody that had a friend that claimed that POTUS suffered with the condition.

If there is any truth to this claim, I would tend to think that the fundamental problem is Low T.

Rockin' Mom jeans and styling a pitch like a Sally:


There are three types of Low T with which we must concern ourselves.

- There's the Low T that has seen a lot of advertisement lately:


There's a drug or snake oil formula for that.

- The second type of Low T causes many to feel depressed:


Tiger must suffer from this type of Low T, and President Obama may as well. Taking up bowling may assuage this suffering.

- The third known type of Low T is quite common and has also been called Low T T.


There is no known cure for this type of Low T T.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Danica Patrick Moves to NASCAR

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But the Smart Money Says She Had Better Watch Her Back


Some say a younger driver is out to get you!

Isabella has learned the art of the bump draft!

And she's quite appealing as well.

You Just Wait Until this Barbarian Turns 3!

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Take us out, huh? My mama's a bitch, huh?


Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Newest Medical Technology - The S.C.A.T. Scan

Taken by Satellite In Vivo

I get in a lot of spats with Liberal 'friends' on FaceBook and it's a lot of fun. But sometimes (I'm being kind) they get way, way off the rational reservation. This morning one of those guys linked an article critiquing a Rush Limbaugh segment. My friend's summation of the article was "Heaven forbid that someone maintain values in spite of tragedy, Rush once again trumpets his ignorance and lack of any sense." What he refused to do was read Rush's actual words. Rush was obviously making fun of Diane Sawyer and the Church of Al Gore, but it was claimed that he was mocking the Japanese in the middle of their disastrous earthquake.

So the scientists in our secret basement laboratory decided to test some new medical imaging technology that they have named S.C.A.T. Scanning. The technology is operated by one of our satellites in geosynchronous orbit. The satellite locates any individual we target and is able to take hundreds of sagittal scans of the entire brain. These data scans are fed into a computer and the software is able to locate neuro-anomolies (S.C.A.T.) in the subject. It then portrays that injured sagittal section in a form that determines the basic usage of each portion for that individual as well as the particular area with S.C.A.T.

The equipment worked flawlessly. The raw scan of the test subject is shown below. Underneath that is the software's depiction of brain usage and the S.C.A.T. area (labeled in red box) that was located. It sheds a lot of light on the physiology of a Liberal's brain.


(Portions of imaging software developed by the fine scientists at The People's Cube.)

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Tuesday, September 13, 2011

If Hope n' Change Cartoonist Were a Badger

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Stilton Jarlsberg is a cartoonist/opinionator at Hope n' Change Cartoons. His work is extraordinary and I recommend regular visits.

Mr. Jarlsberg had seriously expected to let the 10th 9/11 anniversary pass without much comment, but when Paul Krugman spewed his vomit all over the nation, Stilton couldn't contain himself.


I suspect, however, that if Stilton had been from Wisconsin, he may already have used these illustrations dealing with the continued protests of Governor Scott Walker and the Budget Repair Bill.

Taxing the Rich - A Fresh Analysis

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I used to look at the demands to 'tax the rich' as just a class warfare tactic. It was for all intents and purposes just a scheme to attract voters by stoking the fires of envy in one large group of voters against the minority of the more well-to-do citizens. After further review, however, I have been able to see the benefits to our nation as a whole by taxing the rich.

Therefore, it is time to take this political stand and push for a bold initiative. I will be promoting a plan to tax the rich at a modest 50% rate! This plan will not only tax income, but also the broad expanse of accumulated wealth. Taxing accumulated wealth is the key to freeing our nation from its debt and stimulating the economy in ways as yet unseen. Pass my bill!

Accumulated wealth encompasses far more than financial accounts and real estate. It comes in a wide variety of forms all subject to taxation and compassionate redistribution. And for the first time in paternalistic world history, women will play a leading role. You must pass my bill without delay!

Here are but a few examples contained in my bill:
-Attractive, beautiful women such as Hollywood starlets have a wealth of sensuality that the vast majority of poor, unattractive males and lesbians have never before been able to participate in and enjoy. At the 50% wealth tax rate, these starlets will redistribute 50% of their sexual encounters with the impoverished homely masses. A vagina becomes taxable capital. There's some stimulus! Pass this bill!

-If a woman has a wealthy pair of perky and shapely breasts, one will compassionately be redistributed to those with saggy, misshapen ones.

-50% of the wealthy's teeth will be redistributed to Southern White Christian Rednecks.

-The 50% redistribution also includes kidneys, hair, eyes, digits, hands, arms, legs, buttocks, and ovaries. If you have two, share.

-The 50% redistribution of real estate will require that the poor, homeless, and undocumented will be able to squat on the rich's property. President Obama's Chicago home as well as those of Al Gore, Michael Moore, and Nancy Pelosi are a good examples. The poor will also be able to partake in the redistribution of 50% of the rich's dinners. (Not including Obamaville soup kitchens and bread lines.)

-University professors will redistribute 50% of their educational wealth, turning their PhD's into Bachelors degrees so everyone in the nation will have a college degree. Pass this bill!
One will find many more such taxation with redistribution clauses in this 4,000 page legislation. Those you will find out after you Pass this Bill.

Monday, September 12, 2011

Stay Classy, Pismires

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A state trooper ticketed 36-year-old Azael Brodhead after he drove by Walker's house day after day, week after week, blowing his car horn, sticking his middle finger out of his sunroof and shouting "Recall Walker." Brodhead told the trooper he was simply exercising his 1st Amendment rights.
Azael Broadhead, recall your head from you butt!

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Wastin' Away Again in Chez Obamaville

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9/11 -National Day of Service and Remembrance

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Obama, the Anti-Icarus

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In American mythology one story stands out above all the rest. It is a story of a young talented man striving with all his being to break out from among the slings, arrows, and reality of the common unwashed masses.

The evil Founding Fathers caused two men to be exiled among the Cretins. Jeremias Wrighticus and Saul Alinskius were among the banished as socialist dreamers. These two men had a spiritual nephew named Barakius. Barakius excelled in body and mind above them all. In order to assist Barakius' escape from among the Cretins, his uncles fashioned a resume made of wax and fitted them onto Barakius. Barakius knew that his talent would allow him to soar without practice or experience. He fitted the wings to his back, stood over the abyss, and leaped off confident that he could reach his target.

Down, down, down Barakius soared with the hopes of a dependent populace on his shoulders. However, Barakius ignored the warnings of those who came before him. As he dragged the entire nation closer to Hell with each wing flap, the policy feathers of wax began to melt. Soon his wings were no more.


Fortunately, Barakius had two thing going for him that kept him from perishing entirely. One, he is a lightweight and two, he is full of hot gas. Instead of plunging to his demise, he simply floated back to the abyss' rim where he continued to remain among the Cretins in their world of reality.

Packer Rookie Randall Cobb

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Green Bay rookie Randall Cobb scored two touchdowns against the New Orleans Saints this past Thursday. Cobb caught a 32 pass from Aaron Rodgers and returned a kick-off for 108 yards.

Randall Cobb... Randall Cobb, who is this guy? Oh, Randall Cobb!

Randall 'Tex' Cobb, former heavyweight boxer and actor? The guy that said he was only knocked out once. And that was in a bar fight by a guy who was only 5'6" tall. But he was being swung by his heels at the time.

Oh, not THAT Randall Cobb...


Oh, this Randall Cobb II. I wonder if they are related.

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Hello, Hello, Helloooo...

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Hello

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk!

Friday, September 09, 2011

Winning Thefuture Arrested for Drunk and Disorderly

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Early Friday morning, D.C. Police were involved in a Ford Bronco style chase through the city that resulted in one Washington resident being arrested after getting stuck in a tree trying to avoid arrest.

Police arrested the longtime resident after firemen were called to rescue the drunken citizen from the tree. The drunken ass was identified as Winning Thefuture, the mascot of the Democrat Party.

Winning stated that he was so depressed after listening to President Obama's pathetic Jobs speech that he tried to drown himself in a whiskey bottle. He blew a .34 on the breathalyzer test.

Winning requested to call the White House.

"Winning"

Summary of Assessments of the President's Job Speech

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Taking bits and pieces from various commentators and summarizing it in a picture worth a million words...

Thursday, September 08, 2011

Public Service Announcement

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We here at Grandpa John's offer this information as a public service...

Because we care.

You see it all the time. Someone carelessly bites off more than he can easily chew, chews poorly while concentrating on a cell phone call or tweet, tries to swallow... as he begins showing signs of physical stress, he grabs at his throat with both hands, starts turning blue, and gestures frantically in silence.

The poor man is choking and his life is in jeopardy. Another vigilant citizen must immediately come to his aid. The recommended action is called the Tea Party/Heimlich Maneuver.

This life saving action is shown in the illustration below:

(Illustration courtesy of Mr. Fish at Clowncrack.com.)

Just be careful not to lacerate the liver with the xiphoid process.

Remember, too, to call a hazmat team to clean up that toxic mess off the floor.

Paco has been Heimliching people even before they show the physical signs. (False rumors are spreading that he has just been doing it to young females and that he has been pressing much too high on the ribcage.) Preventative medicine is one of President Obama's primary health care goals.

Wednesday, September 07, 2011

A Scripture Reading from One of the Lost Gospels

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(Stolen from Bruce Kesler laboring for less that minimum wage on Maggie's Farm.)

The Unanimous Conservative Rebuttal to President Obama's Job Speech

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The TrogloPundit discusses the outrage of the Democrat leadership because of the Republican refusal to rebut the President's job speech before the joint session of Congress.

The outrage is for nought, however. Conservatives everywhere have already logged a response to the President's proposals:

In Lieu of Transcripts, Obama's College Work Giving Insights of an Earlier Time

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Since President Obama's college transcripts and other records have been locked away in Area 51 with the crashed UFO and alien body parts, many have been searching wherever they can to find tidbits of information about the pre-public Obama.

Recently a letter written by Barack Obama and published in a Harvard Law School newspaper has been analyzed for style and content.

Little else has been uncovered... until now. Barack Obama took an elective course at Harvard called Origami with Public Documents 101. This course was designed to teach the creation of art statements using iconic paper documents. Very chic.

One fellow student named Dan Tague mastered skills in making artistic statements with a one dollar bill. Here are 3 examples of Tague's work:





Constitutional law student Barack Obama chose the Declaration of Independence and the U.S. Constitution for his media and created the following statements titled "Obamagami":


I can't say that I find any beauty in Obama's work, however, his statement is 'perfectly clear.'

Tuesday, September 06, 2011

Grandbaby Update

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Mason

Isabella and her pet worm (that I named Obama)

Hunter

Leah

Morgan

Cole and Grandpa

Cole, Isabella, Kim, Hunter