I No Can Haz Cheezburger?

Where's the beef?

...Police said the female driver of a white Dodge Intrepid pulled up to the drive-thru and ordered from the lunch menu early Sunday but was told only breakfast was available.

Police said two men then got out of the car and one pulled a sawed-off shotgun from the trunk, shooting into the drive-thru window once or twice,...

Police sketch artist composites of suspects.


(H.T. Kathy Shaidle, 154.2cm of Virago.)

March Madness-
Inside the Huddle During a Time Out

Amid the raucous noise of the crowd, a whistle blows. The referee signals to stop the clock, makes the 'pat-a-cake' 'roll 'em and roll 'em' signal, and points toward the opponent's goal. Another traveling violation; another turnover.

Coach Obama signals for a time out and gathers his players in a huddle by his team's bench. Even though he has never won a championship that had other competitors, 'Coach O' is touted as the most basketball savvy coach and greatest motivational speaker in the league today.

"Team, we can't continue this turnover-fest and expect to win. Six traveling calls in the last seven trips down the floor. We must change. We must go in a new direction and make some adjustments. Since the rules do not allow for the ball holder to take a step with his pivot foot or allow him to lift his pivot foot before beginning the dribble, we will start doing this: When picking up your dribble take five steps before coming to a stop, passing, or shooting. And before starting your dribble take three full steps. These adjustments will take care of our turnover problems."

"Hands together, fingers forming an 'O.' One, two, three... Hope!"

"Go team, go and get 'em!"

'America's Team,' indeed.

Tune-up & Oil Change, Please

Reuters excerpts from President Barack Obama's Monday remarks about the U.S. auto industry's restructuring effort:

...if you buy a car from Chrysler or General Motors, you will be able to get your car serviced and repaired, just like always. Your warrantee will be safe.

In fact, it will be safer than it's ever been. Because starting today, the United States government will stand behind your warrantee.

While you're getting out your Crapsman tool set, Mr. President, tell me which bay to pull 'er in.

Spectacular Satellite Image of 'Earth Hour'

Larson Cubed

(The People's Cube.)

Law & Order

Hollie McKay, Fox New.com:

Angie Harmon is not afraid to come out and say she doesn’t like how President Obama is handling the job — but she’s sick of having to defend herself from being deemed a racist.

Speaking of dislikes, the starlet has also had enough of the double-standards in the media.

"I do think McCain would have done a better job, only because I think he has more experience. I also think if W or John McCain or Reagan would have gone and done a talk show, the backlash would have been so huge and in his face, and ‘What is our president doing? How unclassy!’

Of Sarah Palin:

"I admire any kind of woman like her. My whole motto is to know what I stand for and know what I don't stand for and have the courage to live my life accordingly and she does exactly that. The fact that this woman has made the decisions she's made and literally lived her life according to that and takes heat for it is absolutely disgusting to me," she added. "People cannot look at this woman. I really think they're afraid of her and her morals, ethics and values and the fact that she hangs on them. Is she the most experienced person in the world? But she was running to be the Vice President, so we then put the most inexperienced person as the President. That didn't make any sense to me."

Sorry, Sam Waterston, but Angie is the REAL McCoy, Jack.

(H.T. Lucianne.com.)

Mr. Rick Wagoner-

You're Fired!

Lance IS R.S. McCain's Rule #5

This dude is hot!

Hubba! Hubba!

The Surge is Working

Earl Ofari Hutchinson, political analyst and social issues commentator, posting on Huffpo:

President Obama and the Democrats should wave the white flag in their strawman war on Rush Limbaugh. The Media Research Center delivered the grim casualty figures for the Democrats. Since January, the top talk show gabber's ratings have soared off the charts. Radio affiliates that carry Limbaugh's syndicated show call the ratings boost he's gotten from the Democrat's orchestrated attack on him a "dramatic surge." This writer predicted as much when President Obama cracked to Congressional Republicans in late January that they should knock off listening to Limbaugh if they expected to get anything done in Congress and with his administration.

Again, I repost this bastardization of a Charlie Brown cartoon strip:


I expect that Conservative Republicans that speak and act according to the principles of conservatism rather than the tenets of wussie-ism would receive a similar result, not by the MSM or popular talking heads (neither does Limbaugh), but by those same regular people who are listening to Rush. Or Ronald Reagan.

(H.T. Eddiebear @ Doubleplusundead.)

The Fountain of Youth

Eat your heart out, Ponce de León, or let the Aztecs eat it out for you. But we here in America have discovered what you were looking for. We have elected the fountain of youth.

Karen Hall:

One of the major reasons for the current insanity is that our president is mind-numbingly immature.

That's why my college-aged children love him so much. He's exactly the same age they are. He cares about the same things -- saving the world based on feelings with no regard to reality and no concern about either history or the future. A vision of utopia that most people have realized, by age thirty or so, cannot co-exist with human nature. And mostly, the thrill of the PAR-TAY!

Dad29:

The Teeny-Bopper Party President

I would also add "The Bubble Gum Party President."

Recently, Direct TV has been airing an add depicting a cable company's board meeting. In it they come up with the slogan 'Youthanize America.'

You say, 'toe-MAH-toe', I say, 'toe-MAY-toe.' You say, 'Youthanize,' I say 'Euthanize.' Either way, the results of the present administration will not be a GOOD death.

Toxic Asset-
Oxy & Moron

Mark Steyn in NRO:

...Timothy Geithner, America’s beloved Toxic Asset...

“Our hope,” said Toxic Tim, “is that we can work with Europe on a global framework, a global infrastructure which has appropriate global oversight . . . ”

Global oversight

....When the Bolsheviks chose to introduce Russians to the blessings of a “command economy” 90 years ago, they were dealing with a relatively simple agricultural society largely contained within national borders. Obama and Geithner are trying to do it with a sophisticated global economy in which North American consumers, European bankers, Asian suppliers, Saudi investors, and Chinese debt-holders are more tangled than an octopuses’ orgy...

How'd that work out for the Bolsheviks?

Hopefully, in 50 years a Chinese writer will not be asking with a snicker, "How'd that work out for the Barackoviks?"

Blowin' in the Wind

I drove to the mail boxes in front of the Post Office today just as the postal worker was emptying them of their mail. I stepped out of my truck to hand her my letters to put straight into her containers. As she set the box down, a 6" X 8" red card was blown out by the wind.

Upon retrieving it, she harrumphed, "It doesn't even have any stamps on it!"

She investigated further and said, "And it's addressed to President Obama."

I could only laugh and drive away with visions of sugar plums dancing in my head.

How'd They Get Past Doyle?

I had to read Greenie Watch in Australia before I found out about this:

For some people the global warming debate has gone as cold as these late March days; there isn’t one anymore. But for two scientists scheduled to speak in Racine next week, it might as well be the heat of August.

Willie Soon, a physicist at the Harvard-Smithsonian Center for Astrophysics, and David Legates, an associate professor of climatology at the University of Delaware, don’t buy into the prevailing hypothesis that all the carbon dioxide we’re adding to the atmosphere will in just a few decades warm the earth and cause drastic changes in the weather.

That Racine caught my eye. I didn't think that there was a Racine in Australia.

I like reading Australian blogs. I can get my news a whole day early. In this case, Sydney knew about it a day before Racine did.

We're Here to Help You

(Adapted from a photo from Wicked Thoughts.)

Jonah Goldberg Stomps a Myth

Jonah exposes the vomit from the belly of the beast in Big Bedfellows: Big Government, Big Business:

...The notion that big business and big government are at war with one another is one of the great enduring myths of the 20th century. The truth is that ever since Teddy Roosevelt abandoned his love of trust-busting, progressives have liked big businesses big, really big. The bigger the business, the more reliable the partner for big government.

Why is Obama working tirelessly to save Detroit automakers? Because GM is a wonderful poster boy for peddling nationalized health care, and UAW is an indispensable cog in the Democratic Party.

Hillary Clinton's health-care plan required working with large corporations and other firms. It was little guys for whom she had nothing but contempt.

Chiefly under the auspices of the National Recovery Administration, the New Dealers sought to create huge cartels and trade associations that could work side by side with economic planners.

Would Barney Frank rather work with one giant Fannie Mae that will always take his phone calls and do his bidding, or a thousand smaller firms that would need to be herded like cats?

Many of these firms got so big because politicians in both parties liked to have important businessmen take their phone calls, do their bidding, and fund their campaigns.

Although whale vomit may be somewhat unappetizing to many of us, it also can produce something very attractive to the progressive among us. One product secreted by sperm whales, called ambergris, has been useful in fixing scents in perfumery production. Here's the formula:

Sweet rhetoric + puke = Liberal Policy.

Inspiration

Adapted from Wiley:

The Rectus Abdominus Tax-
For the Children

On the street interview by TMZ of pro rassler, Chris Jericho:

Mamarazzi: "You're a wrestler ... so, do you think you have better abs than Barack Obama?"
Chris Jericho: "As of right now I have better abs ... but pretty soon he's gonna take 65% of my abs away from me and give 'em to somebody else."

Being encouraged by his successful appearance on Jay Leno, President Barack Obama's team is now preparing for a cage match; Barack Obama, Barney Frank, and Nancy Pelosi vs. Chris Jericho, John Cena, and Hulk Hogan.

Republican detractors are already claiming that this a publicity stunt to avoid a bowling challenge by Special Olympians.

(H.T. Blonde Sagacity.)

Was that real? Or was it just a dream?

I remember sitting...a number of people, around a table or something. But the table was strange. Uneven somehow.

We were in a restaurant. Something like that. And there was a guy sitting at the end of the table. A guy with a mustache. No, wait, he didn't have a mustache. I can't remember exactly. Seemed like he should have had a mustache, but maybe didn't.

Anyway, he kept saying: "Pick Memphis. Memphis is going to go far. Memphis."

"Memmmmm....fffffisssssss."

He kept saying that.

I remember now. He did have a mustache, because he looked like a total doofus without it. Him and his brothers all.

Got Stake?

Racine State Representative Cory Mason is proposing a Wisconsin Constitutional amendment to allow 17 year-olds the vote.

“Suffrage has always been about who we believe has a legitimate stake in our democracy. I think 17-year-olds are as legitimate a stakeholder as any other group that has a right to vote.”

After reading this article to my 4 year-old grandson, he responded, "I want to vote, too. I am a legitimate stakeholder. I'll be paying up the yang for your dang debt and deficits my whole life."

"Grandpa... you 'forgot your wallet' again?? Yeah, I'll bail you out and pay for the Taco Bell... again!"

Lance, Road Trip!

Destination: Grand Rapids, MI.

The West Michigan Whitecaps, a minor-league baseball team,... hamburger being added to the menu this year at the Fifth Third Ballpark.

The 1.8-kilogram, US$20 burger features five beef patties, five slices of cheese, nearly a cup of chili and liberal doses of salsa and corn chips, all on an 20-centimetre sesame-seed bun.

What?! No bacon??

Five all-beef patties, special salsa, Fritos, cheese, chili on a sesame-seed bun. Bite me, Ronald McDonald!

(H.T. Lucianne.com.)

Stimulus

FACT: In the United States, situations like these cause a spike in birth rates, especially among Conservatives and Evangelical Christians. Do you want that type of stimulus, Democrats?

I'm From the Government
and I'm Here to Help You

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Minnesota. All three go with a White House official to examine the fence.

The Minnesota contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. "Well," he says, "I figure the job will run about $900, eh: $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me, eh."

The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this here job for $700, I reckon: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me."

The Chicago contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, "$2,700."

The official, incredulous, says, "You didn¹t even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?"

The Chicago contractor whispers back, "$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire the guy from Tennessee to fix the fence."

"Done!" replies the government official.

(Taken from Wicked Thoughts.)

Republicans, Please Attend This Class Lecture

Here's Daniel Hannan's blog.

There is an interesting blog post titled "I Won't Disown Obama- Yet.'

Administration Looks to Europe for Guidance

Alexander Bernard discusses democracy in Europe. In it, Bernard covers health care, education, infrastructure, and the effects on the individual psyche, both in the young and the retired.

Money:

The human spirit does not respond well to dependence. It withers. The freedom to make choices, to succeed and stumble on our own merits, the hardiness that comes from having to rely on ourselves — these are the things that make us whole. And that, really, is the most cautionary part of this tale: Americans must resist the creeping welfare state, lest we lose not only our quintessential Americanism, but ultimately also some unquantifiable measure of our humanity.

Obamath

Ace news reporter for the Koshkonong Picayune Weekly Reader, Grandpa Jerry, conveys via e-mail:

The Department of Defense briefed the President this morning and told Obama that two Brazilian soldiers were killed in Iraq by IED's.

To everyone's surprise, all the color drained from Obama's face. Then he collapsed onto his desk, head in his hands, visibly shaken, almost in tears.

Finally, he composed himself and asked, "Just how many is a brazilian? And how can feminine birth control devices kill so many troops?"

This is especially enlightening since he obviously has no understanding of billion or trillion either. And that his vast knowledge of birth control goes through an abortuary.

Video at ten.

We'll Get It Right This Time

The International Relationologists in our secret basement laboratory recently related some information that their spies had gathered.

Through tapping cell phone and internet traffic, placing bugs, and setting cameras in strategic spots in Tehran they were able to establish that Secretary of State Hillary Clinton secretly visited with Mahmoud Ahmadinejad there without preconditions.

Apparently, in trying to relieve international tension and bring hope & change to U.S./Iranian relations, Hillary presented Ahmadinejad a 'reset button' as a symbol of our blossoming friendship. One of our hidden cameras got a good shot of the box, but couldn't maneuver to photograph the obviously gleeful Mahmoud.



When inspecting the photo, our Farsi speaking Iranian expert declared, "That script written in Farsi does not say 'Reset,' but instead says 'Jews and Christians are pigs.'"

I expect that U.S./Iranian relations are much improved. President Obama is, indeed, making the world love us again.

But, Do They Make 'Em in SUV Sizes?

Company test pilot Phil Meteer - a former air force colonel - piloted the maiden flight earlier this month.

He told AVWeb: 'The first flight was remarkably unremarkable.

'I've flown several thousand hours in everything from Piper Cubs to F-16s, and the Transition flew like a really nice airplane.'

- at the touch of a button - folds its wings away and hits the highway.

Brackets Filled Out Yet?

(Click to enlarge.)

You've nominated the North Carolina Tarheels for the 'Under Secretary for Terrorism and Financial Intelligence' post?

Out of the Mouths of Babes

My 4 year old grandson asked me the other day:

"Grampa Doofus, does Pesident Obama need his tellypromter to let him know when to let a fart?"

"I'm not sure. Better go ask your Grandma."

Ya Followin' Me, Teleprompter Guy?

Selected images from the Huckster Hall of Fame:

Vince, "You're gonna love my nuts," Offer:
(UPDATE: Smitty on The Other McCain relates one of Vince's recent legal hassles. The hooker seemed to love more than just his nuts.)


Billy, "Hi! Billy Mays here," Mays:



Ron, "But wait, there's more," Popeil::


Barack, "Thank you, President Obama," Obama::Displaying his new "Mr. Special O-lympics Head" action figure.

Some of the famous Obama products:

-Obama's Pocket Taxerman
-Mr. Teleprompter, a hand-held talking points prompter.
-Electric Economy Dehydrator
-MSM Bedazzler
-Get-a-Grip
-OxyMoron
-Turbo Tax Vac
-Fixit Economy Remover
-ShamDow
-ClapTrap

...and many, many more.

But, I Could Be Wrong

Carter is shoveling peanuts for his farming business. Obama is shoveling dirt to fill free enterprise's grave. Carter is looking you right in the eye. Obama is looking at his teleprompter.

(Jimmah Obama photo from Say Anything Blog.)

Only the Government Can Fix It

Steve Chapman:

These days, every politician assumes that because he has a driver's license and an ATM card, he must have all the necessary skills to run an automaker and operate a bank.

Thomas Sowell:

These warnings were brushed aside. Politicians were too busy solving a national problem that didn't exist. In the process, they created very real problems. Now they are now offering even more solutions that will undoubtedly lead to even bigger problems.

Hope & change.

Ladies and Gentlemen...
The President(s) of The United States

Most Arabic translators will tell you that 'Hussein' means 'good' or even 'handsome.' That, however, is an ancient desert myth. Actually, 'Hussein' accurately translates 'speaks words from sky.'

(Limbaugh just passed along an announcement from TOTUS, the Teleprompter of the United States. I kinda like 'Teleprompter-in-Chief' or TIC.)

Late Billboard Entry

This'll teach Limbaugh a lesson:

Motivation

"So they loaded up the truck and moved to Beverly." The Clampett clan was about to experience culture shock. The denizens of Beverly Hills were about to realize the same.

Back in 1981 I joined the Clampetts and loaded up the Vee-Dub and moved to Texas. I would soon experience culture shock. The denizens of Texas were soon to realize the same.

After I crossed the state line from Louisiana on Interstate 10, this was the first sign I saw:


Fear, being a great motivator, directed me to a truck stop where I bought a hat to blend in as a real Texan.


Shortly after, I affixed a rifle rack in place of the headrests inside my Bug and no one ever knew that I wasn't really a native born Texan.

Free Enterprise Socialism

It is rumored that members of President Obama's staff are negotiating with a German company to market "Obama Fingers" and "Chicken O-Nuggets" here in the U.S.

Here is a portion of the proposed package cover illustration to be used to attract the drooling American consumer:



Not pictured: The bed of arugula upon which the fingers will rest.

Anopheles Beware!

And I'm not talking about the famous Greek philosopher, but the mosquito genus of malarial vector fame.

President Reagan's Star Wars weapons may be finding a valuable world health application:

American scientists are making a ray gun to kill mosquitoes. Using technology developed under the Star Wars anti-missile programme, the zapper is being built in Seattle where astrophysicists have created a laser that locks onto airborne insects...

The laser – dubbed a weapon of mosquito destruction (WMD) – has been designed with the help of Lowell Wood, one of the astrophysicists who worked on the original Star Wars plan to shield America from nuclear attack...

It is speculated that lasers could shield villages or be fired at swarming insects from patrolling drone aircraft. “You could kill billions of mosquitoes a night,” said one expert...

Detente is not a viable option, although the Obama administration has expressed a desire to negotiate with Anopheles leaders with no preconditions.

(H.T. Wicked Thoughts.)

De Gaulle of De French

As long as I can remember having any foreign relations opinions, I was always wary of the French. This was, of course, due to the fact that for much of my early life, Charles de Gaulle was the President of France. He was the face of France and the very definition of obstinacy.

The BBC's Alan Little reflects on his memories of de Gaulle:

There is a story about a conversation between General de Gaulle, who, as president of the French Republic, telephoned his American counterpart Lyndon B Johnson, to inform him that France had decided to withdraw from the North Atlantic Treaty alliance...

Furthermore, de Gaulle added, it was his intention that all American service personnel should be removed from French soil.

"Does that include," Johnson is said to have replied, "those buried in it?"...

Former British PM Harold McMillan:

France, he said, had made peace with Germany, had forgiven Germany for the brutality of invasion and the humiliation of four years of occupation, but it could never - never - forgive the British and Americans for the liberation.

During the 60th anniversary of the liberation of Paris from the Nazis in 2004:

Paris launched a series of events to mark the 60th anniversary of its own liberation in August 2004.

The city's mayor had given the celebrations the title Paris Se Libere! - Paris Liberates Herself!

One of the newspapers published a 48-page commemorative issue. There was no mention of the allies until page 18.

Paris se libere- Paris liberates herself- was first stated by de Gaulle in 1944.

Little also writes:

When I was living in Paris, it struck me that Sarkozy - not yet president - had the potential to be France's first post-Gaullist leader.

His enemies called him "Sarkozy the American" in the hope that this would make him unelectable. It did not work.

I don't subscribe to the idea of reincarnation, but Charles de Gaulle died in 1970. When was Barack Obama born?

The Stimulus Is Working Already

I have to give President Obama credit where credit is due. Former President Bush left Obama and the country in 1932 with things getting worse. But now after only 50 days of Obama's leadership, things are no longer so bad. Water into wine.

In related news:

MAHER: Oklahoma's out of ammo because they're afraid that Obama and his Negro army are going to come and get you.

Spoken as Someone Who Has Studied This

Stated by President Bill Clinton in an interview by Dr. Sanjay Gupta concerning President Obama's reversal of the Bush embryonic stem cell policies:

Gupta: ...First of all, let me just ask you, as someone who studied this, is this going to always be as divisive an issue as it is now?...

Bill Clinton: ...If it's obvious that we're not taking embryos that can - that under any conceivable scenario would be used for a process that would allow them to be fertilized and become little babies,...

I don't know that I have any reservations, but I was - he has apparently decided to leave to the relevant professional committees the definition of which frozen embryos are basically going to be discarded, because they're not going to be fertilized.

But those committees need to be really careful to make sure if they don't want a big storm to be stirred up here, that any of the embryos that are used clearly have been placed beyond the pale of being fertilized before their use. There are a large number of embryos that we know are never going to be fertilized, where the people who are in control of them have made that clear.

And that is the one thing that I think these committees need to make it clear that they're not going to fool with any embryos where there's any possibility, even if it's somewhat remote, that they could be fertilized and become human beings.

The debate is settled. There is consensus. Abortion, even partial birth, is OK. The fetus is not fertilized and therefore can be termed a little baby until it has totally separated from the birth canal.

President Clinton, are you imitating Al Gore?

Dr. Gupta, is there a doctor in the house?

Burtisms

Prelutsky today:

Although it appeared six years ago that Schwarzenegger would be a big improvement over Gray Davis, it turned out he only had bigger muscles. But, then, so does Barbara Boxer.

As most of you probably know, Herr Schwarzenegger and his liberal chums in the state legislature recently hiked state and sales taxes to record heights because they had run up huge deficits in recent years. Things got so bad, the lawmakers announced at one point they were going to fire nonessential state employees. Nobody seemed to wonder why, if they were nonessential, we taxpayers had been paying their salaries for, lo, these many years.

Steele's Days Numbered?

Rick Moran asks that question in Pajamas Media.

The chairman's many verbal gaffes — as well as a whiff of scandal — may sink him.

THE scandal

Shot Across the Bow

Is this the 'trade' of Cap'n Crunch...er, Trade?

ZUG, Switzerland, March 12 (Reuters) - The tidy towns and mountain vistas of Switzerland are an unlikely setting for an oil boom.

Yet a wave of energy companies has in the last few months announced plans to move to Switzerland -- mainly for its appeal as a low-tax corporate domicile that looks relatively likely to stay out of reach of Barack Obama's tax-seeking administration.

Which tool in the Swiss army knife arsenal is the Obama administration thrusting between our scapulae this time?

Are All Conservative Rockers From Michigan?

Slide over, Ted Nugent. Thaddeus McCotter needs a seat.



(H.T. Andrew Beitbart in Big Hollywood.)

Lance, While You're Up,
Get Me a Beer

Thanks, but next time, please wash your hands first!

(H.T. Wicked Thoughts.)

Half His Prescience Tied Behind His Back
Just to Make It Fair

Most who have listened to The Rush Limbaugh Show will be familiar with the theme music that introduces each hour of his program. The music is the beginning of the 1982 song "My City Was Gone" by the British group, the Pretenders, written by Chrissie Hynde.

What may not be known, even by Chrissie Hynde, is that this song foretells President Obama's election, the results his policies including his stimulus package.

I went back to ohio
But my city was gone
There was no train station
There was no downtown
South howard had disappeared
All my favorite places
My city had been pulled down
Reduced to parking spaces
A, o, way to go ohio

Well I went back to ohio
But my family was gone
I stood on the back porch
There was nobody home
I was stunned and amazed
My childhood memories
Slowly swirled past
Like the wind through the trees
A, o, oh way to go ohio

I went back to ohio
But my pretty countryside
Had been paved down the middle
By a government that had no pride
The farms of ohio
Had been replaced by shopping malls
And muzak filled the air
From seneca to cuyahoga falls
Said, a, o, oh way to go ohio

This song was on the flip side of the single, "Back On The Chain Gang." This song not only notes the results of the Obama tenure foisted upon America and its citizens, but also hints at the Conservative response:

I found a picture of you, oh oh oh oh
What hijacked my world that night
To a place in the past
We've been cast out of? oh oh oh oh
Now we're back in the fight
We're back on the train
Oh, back on the chain gang

A circumstance beyond our control, oh oh oh oh
The phone, the tv and the news of the world
Got in the house like a pigeon from hell, oh oh oh oh
Threw sand in our eyes and descended like flies
Put us back on the train
Oh, back on the chain gang

The powers that be
That force us to live like we do
Bring me to my knees
When I see what they've done to you
But I'll die as I stand here today
Knowing that deep in my heart
They'll fall to ruin one day
For making us part

I found a picture of you, oh oh oh oh
Those were the happiest days of my life
Like a break in the battle was your part, oh oh oh oh
In the wretched life of a lonely heart
Now we're back on the train
Oh, back on the chain gang

Now we're back on the Conservative train; we're back in the fight.

That Limbaugh sure is smart.

Play Ball!

(With apologies to Charles Schulz.)

The Progress of Progressives

Here is proof that Liberals are creative and able to change their mantras to match reality:



(From Redstate.)

The Pubbie Prez Club

I enjoyed this painting by Andy Thomas that was posted on Lucianne.com.

No Podium Position for Me
at the Tour de France

I often have wondered why my pro cycling career never landed me the yellow jersey on the Tour de France. My training was rigorous, much resembling that of Lance Armstrong. I would even pedal from Janesville to North Beach in Racine during strong headwinds and thunderstorms. I would drop Greg LeMond before we even got close to Union Grove.

I recently set the Physiologists and aerodynamic scientists from our secret basement laboratory to work on discovering why I had such lack of success. After several years of study, these brilliant men and women declared that they found the scientific explanation. It turned out to be simply that I was riding inferior equipment:

Dr. Sanjay Gupta Responds

The Surgeon General post of the Obama administration has again opened up as the leading candidate, Dr. Sanjay Gupta, has withdrawn his name from consideration.

The hackers...er, computer scientists in our secret basement laboratory informed me that Dr. Gupta spent nearly a half hour reading this post on Grandpa John's a couple of nights ago.

The door is now open for Dr. Juma.

Global Warming Protest

Thousands of angry White people protest global warming:



(From Don Surber.)

Dog Quixote

The 24 second video Dog Quixote de la Muncha mirrors the Obama administration as well as the classic Spanish work of fiction, Don Quixote, written by Miguel Cervantes:



That's Joe Biden and his ass viewing the devastation. (Joe is on the left.)

(Video H.T. Rachel Lucas.)

Seeing the Future-
Lance & Mari Jo
Aged Activists

I assume most are familiar with the reality of 'flashbacks' experienced by former drug users. Few, however, understand that some also have 'flashforwards' as well.

Today while watching Nancy Pelosi on TV, I fell into an incredulous, slack-jawed trance and had a vision of things to come. Like normal night dreams, flashforwards don't always depict things with perfect, literal accuracy.

Lance and Mari Jo- Budding political activists to be:

(H.T. Grandpa Jerry)

Curtains

Democrat Platform Planks:

1) President Obama's plan for temporary government stimulus:



2) President Obama's hope for the future of freedom/capitalism.

Now That the Economy is Fixed-
It's Time to Fix Health Care

First, President Obama has to dump Sanjay Gupta as Surgeon General. Dr. Gupta has paid his taxes and doesn't fit in with the President's other nominees. The position should be filled with someone who actually will do something about the catastrophic crisis that is American health care. It's fallen and can't get up.

President Obama should nominate Dr. Chupacabra Juma
for the post.
He hasn't paid any taxes, ever.


Proposed Green Ambulance

Dr. Juma will also have President Obama handle hundreds of handkerchiefs and distribute them to hospitals and clinics throughout the land. An appointed administration bureaucrat at each institution will bring the snotrag to the sick who will then look upon and even touch the cloth and be healed. Shovel ready.

In Wisconsin This Will Be
Hard Time for Hard Crime

In Wisconsin (The state Senate is expected to take up a bill this week that protects breast-feeding mothers from harassment.), this will be hard time for both the stool pigeon and the cop:

A male motorist called the police department's non-emergency number to report that he had seen the woman breastfeeding and talking on a cell phone while driving...

The officer used the descriptions the witness gave to locate Compton at the school and serve the tickets and summons, Burke said.

Insensitive pedophagophobic b*stards! Lock 'em up and make 'em take sensitivity training complete with videos of Helen Thomas breastfeeding Rosie O'Donnell for the rest of their lives.